my favourite thing is when someone says “i think about you a lot” or “i had a dream about you” or “i was just about to text you” or something because the fact that i occur to someone when I’m not talking to them or anything is the best thing i just
reminder to:
I just would like to thank everyone who ever reblogs this so that it somehow ends up back on my dash because I usually need the reminder (especially the drinking water one)
So many people on tumblr complain about having no friends but then they reblog shit like
“If your friend doesn’t respond to your every text immediately they are not your friend”
and “A true friend would never value themselves over your sanity. Friends who ‘need space’ away from your mental health issue are TO X I C”
and “if someone doesn’t drop everything to help you when you’re in need, congrats, you just found out who your fake friend is”
and it’s like…this is why.
You had friends and then shat on them with your fucked up abusive standards.
congratulations on shutting down every mentally ill person who NEEDS this kind of attention to survive and telling us we dont deserve friends for the way our brains fuck us up and tell us that if they dont do just the smallest things they hate us and wantus to die and dont want to be our friends
i hate nts
You’re friends world doesn’t revolve around you. Honestly your response is one of the most selfish things I’ve read.
You need to realize that your mental illness can be toxic and harmful to your friends, that it can be controlling and poisonous. That your friends world doesn’t just revolve around you.
I had a friend like that once. She had her mental instabilities and she suffered from depression and things like that and so she came to me because I was her friend. I tried to be THAT friend. Whenever she would text or call me, I would be there to to talk to her, to give her advice no matter how busy i was, and i was BUSY. I genuinely wanted to help her through her problems and i felt guilty for wanting to put my academics over her.
But in school she would often complain that she had absolutely no friends, as if I didn’t exist. I tried to understand though, that sometimes it may FEEL like you don’t have anyone I suppose, so I stuck with her so she wouldn’t feel alone.
I wish I saw it then, but it was just tip of the iceberg. She was manipulating me. She would tell me secrets, and make me promise to never tell another soul. And I didn’t, cause I cared. Come to find out she went and told the whole school herself, saying the same thing to each person “promise not to tell anyone, you’re the only one I can trust”. I would tell her to go seek professional help because she was hurting herself and getting into all sorts of trouble. But she would say the same thing “I can’t, you’re the only one I can trust.” Almost every night we would talk over Facebook and she would constantly reaffirm our friendship, saying “you’re my friend, right?” almost the same way, every day, and I would always say the same thing “yes”.
This went on for about 2 years. It got to the point that I would hide my online status on facebook when I saw that she was online. I was going through hardships of my own and when I would go to her about it, she would quickly dismiss it and go on about HER problems. She would come to me with her problems, I would tell her how to solve them, she would totally disregard everything I told her and get herself into trouble again, and come crying to me for the same answers to the same problems and repeat the cycle over and over again. I would be up at midnight writing college essays, filling out college applications, looking for scholarships, and she would call me complaining about the same problems that I had given her the solutions to countless times. But I would drop everything and go through the whole spiel again, because I tried to be THAT friend. The friend that those people want. The one that would put their whole life on halt for their friends. And it did a toll on me, both physically and mentally.
I got no sleep or mental rest because I was basically juggling her problems, on top of my own, as well as school preparing for college. Every time she sensed I was sort of backing out she would bring up the fact that she would kill herself or that I was the one and only friend she had (which wasn’t true).
It was my mom who finally told me to distance myself from her, because she could see how badly this kind of relationship was affecting me, and she had been in a similar one herself, so she recognized the signs. My dad, a Star Trek fan, called people like that Klingons because they literally cling on to you and feed off of the attention you give them.
I’m not knocking people with mental disabilities or depression or anything like that, because they are serious. But don’t treat your friends like your 24/7 therapists or psychiatrists. We cannot put our whole lives on hold, jeopardize our future for you. Even therapists tell their patients “no I can’t speak with you today” or “you have to schedule an appointment, you can’t just call whenever you want”. And it’s not to be selfish. I thought it was selfish of me to prioritize my health or education over my friend who needed my help. But I realized, I’m not a therapist, and I have to look out for myself too.
I hit a point for a lot of folks where I have to go “I can’t help you with that. You need to speak with a professional.” Sometimes it takes time to convince them to go but it usually helps them.
Yes, there are mental illnesses that can manifest symptoms that are these things but that doesn’t mean you embrace them and accept them as okay behaviors. They’re abusive behaviors. And you have to learn how to manage them and not let those feelings jerk you around.
And before one of you comes back with a catty “lol neurotypicals” I’ve got an anxiety disorder and it took me literally up until last year to get help for it and there were times I was abusive and my fiance is fantastic because he shut that shit down fast and helped me to rationalize what I was feeling and learn better ways to cope. It was work. It wasn’t a cake walk. But I’m a better person for it and I feel better for it and it helped me stay stable until I could get therapy and medication to get more stable.
Your friends have lives and are people. You are not the centerpoint for them. There’s a really good quote that goes “mental illness has a really sinister way of making it all about YOU” like say, with anxiety, you go to a store and feel like everyone is staring at you or judging you when in reality it’s just people shopping. They probably don’t even notice you. You hear friends talking about someone but not specifically so you think it must be you and it must be bad. It blows.
For me, I would stop myself when I had those thoughts, pause and remind myself “There’s a good chance this isn’t about you. There’s a good chance friend is just busy. Does that suck? Yeah, but it’s not their fault. They have shit to do. Let’s find something to occupy our time until they get back to us.” then I’d go play a game or something.
Learning skills like that will improve your relationships with others because you’re not only focused on you.
mental illness is not an excuse to be abusive.
Speaking from experience: if you have a friend whose insecure, mentally ill, and has a heap of emotional baggage, yet refuses to see a therapist and alternates between using you as a therapist or using you as a scratching post/accusing you of not caring about them, this is not a healthy friendship and there’s nothing you can do to help them. You can’t save anyone who doesn’t want to be saved.
Louder for those in the back: Mental illness is not an excuse to be abusive.
It doesn’t matter what you have or how your symptoms manifest, it’s not an excuse, your behavior is toxic, and people have the right to choose their own happiness, stability, and mental health over coddling you and putting their lives on hold for you because you can’t be bothered to get professional help and think everyone owes you and has to drop everything because of YOUR mental illness.
Mental illness doesn’t exclude YOU from being the toxic one.
I think this is a great topic for people with mental illnesses to really think about. I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life (like 50% of it, officially, now, and I guess going forward it’ll be more). It’s a hard lesson to learn.
Imagine you’re drowning. You’re thrashing. You’re crying out to everyone for their attention, because obviously you don’t want to drown. You want to live and survive.
You are thrashing hard. There is a 50/50 chance you are going to take any would-be rescuers down with you.
Obviously, you’re hoping for a rescuer that’s going to risk it and then be strong enough to tow you back to shore. You’re hoping that you have a rescuer out there who’s willing to come out and help you, regardless, that it’s not easy for them to leave you out in the ocean to drown. You obviously hope that. I understand why you hope it. I would hope it, too.
But if you can’t recognize why someone would look at you and think, “I can’t help them without drowning, myself,” and choose to keep their own feet on the shore – if you think they owe you that rescue, even at the risk of themselves – then you’re not a good friend.
Life is hard and a struggle, but no one owes you theirs. Friendship must always be earned; you’re not entitled to anyone.
I text back embarrassingly fast
or three hours later
there is no in between
i once made a text post that got 33 notes maybe you should think before you talk to me that way
I’m here for the girls who unwillingly consented to sex or sexual acts because they were in a situation where they didn’t feel as if they had the right to say no and now feel violated but don’t feel like they can say they were raped or molested.
this is probably one of the most important text posts i have ever seen because i feel like this is a HUGE issue among teenagers especially young girls in today’s social culture and nobody talks about it. nobody tells you that you were in fact abused and sometimes it takes you years to finally realize what happened to you was wrong, and it’s really scary and confusing! we need to teach each other that “rape” or “molestation” can happen in many circumstances and not just the ones we are taught!!!!
I just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.
